Since the age of 14 or so, I have been having sexual relationships with two friends from school. Each of which was purely sexual and never was there an emotional element. After all, we were straight!
One of the guys is now engaged to be married to a girl, the other one is living in Chicago and is still very closeted. I'll save the commentary about my friend who is getting married for another time.
From age 14 onward, until only about a couple of years ago, just about all of my sexual experiences were done in secret, and often in the woods. I remember how turned on I used to get by sneaking around... I still get a little bit of that thrill with one of these guys -- the one who lives in Chicago. For the last few years, we have hooked up over the holidays when we are both in town to visit our families. Usually, our activities are quite tame. This time however, we have been flirting over IM about doing other stuff.... So, this winter, I plan to have a Brokeback Mtn. style evening with an old friend... in the woods... I can't wait!!
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Saturday, November 25, 2006
HS Friends
Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, a bunch of my high school friends and I get together to play football. By now, just about everybody from home knows that I am gay (expect my parents).
Maybe I'm being paranoid but I detected a slight change of behavior toward me from a couple of the guys. One in particular, put his arm around my shoulders after a good play. It seemed like he caught himself and awkwardly removed his hands... In another instance, someone refused my offer for water when he was obviously very thirsty.
If my suspicions are correct, I attribute their behavior to two things. 1) They are homophobic; and 2) They are not very self confident. I think it's probably a combination -- these guys have always had inferiority complexes for some reason.
I know that this behavior is harmless but it kind of confirms why I need to live in NYC (as opposed to a suburban area). Unfortunately, many straight guys get very uncomfortable around homos. Everybody is entitled to feel however they want, but in many cases, I think their discomfort is rooted in their own insecurities.
Maybe I'm being paranoid but I detected a slight change of behavior toward me from a couple of the guys. One in particular, put his arm around my shoulders after a good play. It seemed like he caught himself and awkwardly removed his hands... In another instance, someone refused my offer for water when he was obviously very thirsty.
If my suspicions are correct, I attribute their behavior to two things. 1) They are homophobic; and 2) They are not very self confident. I think it's probably a combination -- these guys have always had inferiority complexes for some reason.
I know that this behavior is harmless but it kind of confirms why I need to live in NYC (as opposed to a suburban area). Unfortunately, many straight guys get very uncomfortable around homos. Everybody is entitled to feel however they want, but in many cases, I think their discomfort is rooted in their own insecurities.
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